Me, now. (Archive, 2022)

Every Monday, I update this /now page with a few things that have the majority of my time and attention right now.

(You can learn more about /now pages here.)

(See my current Me, now’ page here.)


Week 1: Limping into the new year: everyone in the house has a cold, everyone is exhausted. Omicron is everywhere, making everything feel ominous; cafés and restaurants are closed, gatherings are limited. It will be a quiet, solitary start to the year.

Week 2: Daycare shut down because of a Covid exposure last week; it will open up again later this week, and we will keep our fingers crossed everyone is safe and no more shutdowns happen—I can’t miss more work. Another quiet, solitary week until the cold subsides and Covid disappears.

Week 3: The week starts with a snowstorm; the world outside is blanketed in white powder, soon to become grey slush as the cars make their way down the snow-covered road. We will spend the week staying warm inside, eating hearty meals—and getting the car serviced later in the week, too.

Week 4: The cold and the snow continue—we are in the middle of a Canadian winter, so I shouldn’t be surprised. If all goes well, my parents will come to visit this coming weekend. We will make pizza and eat cookies and ice cream. Life will be merry. (And hopefully, my current back pain will subside.)

Week 5: The new medication is helping with the back pain; my upcoming physiotherapy appointment should help too. I will have to brave a snowstorm for the appointment (and for my X-ray) later this week. If all goes well, I’ll get to see my parents again this coming weekend. At work, I launch our Diversity Survey today; I’m proud of the work I put in to make it happen.

Week 6: A week of care: physiotherapy, massage, and rest. Hopefully, my back pain will start to dissipate. Capping off the week with a small Valentine’s photo shoot.

Week 7: Everyone in the house has Covid except for me. So we are all at home, isolating, trying to get through the days. The baby isn’t sleeping so we’re all exhausted. The days drag on and we are at wit’s end. My plans for a birthday weekend in Toronto next weekend are canceled. All I want is to sleep.

Week 8: We all ended up catching Covid (including me) and the road to convalescence has been slower than expected. The symptoms disappear and then reoccur; all we want to do is sleep and get better. It will be a quiet birthday celebration for me this week.

Week 9: The Covid symptoms are subsiding and we’re slowly getting back to a semblance of normal. This week, we book flights (and sort out all the many details of traveling with a toddler) for our next getaway, and visit my parents for a weekend with family. Also, eat some paczki.

Week 10: I’m not well. These past nineteen months have been among the worst of my life. I have destroyed my career, my physical health, my mental health, my finances, and every shred of happiness I once may have had. Today, it’s all catching up to me. Today, I’m falling apart.

Week 11: Preparations for our vacation have begun, and so many preparations are required when traveling with a baby and during Covid. Documentation, packing, etc—there’s so much to forget, no matter how much you write down. In the meantime, we all are working on recovering from our still-lingering respiratory symptoms. Date night (hard to find a babysitter these days!) this Wednesday should be a welcome delight, too.

Week 12: I shut down my website today. I’ll be updating it infrequently, but only in the background. If you subscribe to the RSS, you’ll get updates, but the homepage no longer lists my blog posts anymore. It was time. L leaves for St Lucia this weekend, and I begin my week of being home alone with Zoya before we leave, too. Should be an adventure.

Week 13: A week of solo parenting, a week of lots to get done at work, a week of packing and sorting and cleaning and getting ready for vacation. At the end of the week, a five hour plane trip on my own with a young toddler. This should be quite the week!

Week 14: We are in St. Lucia. Getting here with the baby on my own was a hassle, but we made it. The place where we are staying is a disaster, but we’ll make do. I am, however, in ridiculous amounts of pain. I can barely move. I’m scared my kidney stone is trying to pass and I’m stuck here away from home.

Week 15: We fly home today from our vacation, and spend the rest of the week just getting back to normal. I always feel as though I need at least a week after a vacation to feel like things have settled again—especially with all the laundry to do. We’re lucky that Grandma Michelle is visiting us this week; will be good to have her for Easter Weekend festivities.

Week 16: Back to normal this week. L is on call and I’ve got a busy week at work ahead—we’re going to be scrambling a bit. At least I have a massage scheduled for Tuesday. A little worried about my imaging scheduled on Wednesday (for kidney stones) but I’ll take it one day at a time.

Week 17: Are we getting sick? I hope not. Zoya has been waking up at night, which is a sign she’s starting to feel unwell, and L and I have scratchy throats. We’re hoping we’ll avoid getting sick, as we have to celebrate this week: the ten-year anniversary of our first date, a friend’s birthday, and the (hopeful) arrival of the spring.

Week 18: A busy week ahead with L on call (on top of the many ores stations she has to do this week) and a few big meetings and presentations for me at work too. We’re working towards the weekend, when we get to celebrate Mother’s Day with brunch at a favorite restaurant and a visit from my parents.

Week 19: Still healing from my lithotripsy last week; passing kidney stones is incredibly painful. I would never wish this on anyone. This week is for recuperation, but it’s also busy enough that I don’t know how restful it will be.

Week 20: A week full of rain. Starting to plan Zoya’s second birthday, starting to plan for our cottage escape, starting to plan for the summer. L’s dad is coming to visit this weekend, so that should be fun.

Week 21: Our fridge died this weekend, so this week we’re buying a new fridge, trying to salvage what we can from the contents of the old one, and hopefully doing our best to keep afloat without a fridge for at least a week. Luckily, we’re heading into Toronto for a few days (I have some work meetings to attend in person) so that should make it easier. Will be good to see family and friends and eat at a good restaurant while we’re there.

Week 22: The heat this week will be intense; it may be warm enough to go for a swim in the backyard pool, fingers crossed. I’m not a fan of having a pool, but on extremely hot days like these, I am grateful for the easy access to it.

Week 23: It’s a weekend of preparation: preparing for Zoya’s birthday next month, preparing for our trip to the cottage next week, preparing for some new direction at work. The cottage will be nice; being lakeside, on the beach, will be restorative.

Week 24: A week up at the cottage in Grand Bend: beach time, hiking in the Pinery, grilling and drinking cocktails outside while watching the sunset over the lake. Should be pretty fun.

Week 25: Surgery for my kidney stones went horribly wrong today, and now I’m wearing a catheter and bleeding from my penis and dealing with some of the worst pain of my life for the next couple of weeks. No work for me, just trying to figure how to live life in this kind of pain and discomfort.

Week 26: Still attached to this catheter, still healing from the unplanned surgery, still in lots of pain. Going to be like this for a month or so, maybe more. I’m miserable. This is the worst time of my life.

Week 27: Still attached to this catheter, still in so much pain. If we can’t get it out this week, we’ll have to cancel our BC trip next week, and I definitely don’t want to do that. I’ve never felt worse and so powerless in my life.

Week 28: Going in for surgery today. Again. Hopefully this time will fix it all, this will be the end. The way I heal from this and what my recovery looks like will decide whether we go to BC or not at the end of the week. I am worried. Terrified, really. No part of this process has gone well — today is the first day I’m feeling even an iota close to better after three weeks, and I’m going in for surgery again. So scared of what this will all look like again tomorrow.

Week 29: I am healing, slowly, but our trip to BC is canceled. L is not taking it well, so I am dealing with resentment as I heal. I have one more procedure left this week; if it goes well, I can start thinking about putting this all behind me. I am ready to be done with all these health issues and for life to go back to normal.

Week 30: Feeling better, slowly. Healing is going well. This week, we celebrate Zoya’s birthday and we run some errands and we take a few day trips to the waterfalls and to the beach and to Stratford too. Slowly, things are starting to feel like normal again after all the tumult of the past month.

Week 31: Back to work this week after being away for six weeks due to my health. Lots of home-related errands and stuff to look after, too. I anticipate this week will be a mad dash until we head to see my parents this weekend.

Week 32: The healing is going better. I am getting better. Things around the house are falling apart, but at least my health is going the right way. This week is a short sprint until we head to the cottage on Thursday for the weekend. Should be nice to spend some time up in Muskoka for a few days.

Week 33: Everything is so hard. So tiring. So—undoable? I’m exhausted. Even fun things are not so fun with a child. This week is like every other week: taking care of a child while taking care of a home while trying to work and live and maybe just get a few seconds of peace, too. Friends are coming to visit this coming weekend, so that should be fun—but a ton of work too. The work never ends. Life is just frustration and exhaustion, endlessly.

Week 34: We are taking Zoya for swimming lessons every day this week. She has enjoyed lessons in the past, so hopefully she will enjoy these. L has put me in charge of planning something fun for this weekend but it is supposed to rain all weekend and I can’t think of things to do, so I am, obviously, overcome and overwhelmed with stress and feel miserable.

Week 35: I am sick, and struggling to get through the days. Thankfully, it’s not Covid. I’m covering for my boss over the next two weeks and L is on call, so it’s bound to be a busy couple of weeks ahead. Hopefully, I can head to my parents’ place this weekend to spend some time with them.

Week 36: A busy week, medically. A few tests and appointments with my specialist to find out if the kidney stones are actually gone, and what I can do to prevent them in the future. On top of that, a busy week at work, and hopefully meeting some friends in Stratford this coming weekend.

Week 37: I have pertussis, which is annoying, and I pulled an abdominal muscle from the violent coughing, which is painful, so overall this really hasn’t been my best summer. Trying to convalesce while I take care of Zoya and make meals while L is on call this week. Luckily, we’re going to see my parents this weekend so I will get some respite.

Week 38: A visit to the aquarium in Toronto before heading back home for a few days, followed by a long weekend in Kingsville for a family wedding. L’s mom is coming to visit us for the wedding, so it’s a week full of family.

Week 39: Wedding weekend was difficult, hoping this week, and the weekend ahead in Elora, is less stressful. Taking Zoya to the alpaca farm on Thursday, so that should be fun.

Week 40: The week before Thanksgiving. Heading to my parents’ place for the long weekend. Until then, a week of L being on call so lots of childcare ahead of me. Thankfully, I get to go out to the hockey game on Friday night.

Week 41: We got into a collision today; someone rear-ended us on the highway. We are all safe, thankfully. This week will undoubtedly be filled with calls to the insurance company and other administrative tasks. Not what I had been hoping to do.

Week 42: A trip to DC — without the kid! — to eat at some good restaurants and meet some old friends. Can not wait.

Week 43: A busy week trying to catch up on everything we’ve missed. The car is still in the shop after the accident, and I’m still feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by everything. Halloween weekend coming up doesn’t help assuage my anxiety.

Week 44: The year is coming to a close. I feel that poignantly around Halloween every year. This week, I plan all the year-end festivities (anniversary, L’s birthday, Christmas) and we go trick-or-treating in the rain. I get my flu shot. I work a lot. And in the end, we keep our fingers crossed that things are better this week than they have been before.

Week 45: A long weekend for some of us coming up. Hoping to spend the weekend at my parents’ place, getting some help with childcare while there. My cough continues incessantly, and Zoya keeps waking up in the middle of the night. We are all constantly exhausted.

Week 46: L is away so I’m solo parenting for a few days. There is snow on the ground and the air is very cold. Winter is here. Zoya is constantly sick but we’re getting through it. Going for a Christmas photo shoot this week and going to a bachelor party in Toronto too. Going to be an action-packed week!

Week 47: So cold and snowy outside. I might be getting sick since I’m feeling cold all the time, even indoors. No time to get sick since it’s a busy week ahead, and we’re celebrating L’s birthday with a cocktail class this weekend. Should be fun!

Week 48: The unending sickness continues; maybe I’m even worse than I was before. Hoping I’m well enough for our weekend in Detroit to celebrate L’s birthday this coming weekend. Until then, lots of Christmas and holiday planning to do.

Week 49: Planning for the holidays is in full force now. So much to do, I feel like I need to take a full week of work just to get it all done. So overwhelmed; this is always the most stressful time of my year. We have a wedding in Stratford to attend this weekend, so that should be a fun escape.

Week 50: Spending the week wrapping gifts and making appetizers and packing our suitcases—we leave for BC at the end of the week and there is so much to do before then. Taking a quick trip to Toronto to see my colleagues for a holiday lunch, and hopefully going to see the ballet (The Nutcracker) before we leave for the west coast.

Week 51: It’s cold and snowy here in BC. Our travel day was a disaster, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed things go a lot smoother now that we’re here. The plan is to spend lots of time with family and friends both in Vancouver and on Pender Island, and to hopefully get some down time too—though that might be impossible with a toddler. Keeping fingers crossed the driving in the snow isn’t too bad.

Week 52: Last week of the year; a few more days out west before we return home and get ready for the new year to begin. Lots of people to see and things to do before we go—will be a busy end to 2022.

(Feel free to visit my Me, now’ archives: 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021.)